Genre: Lyric Essay
Girl searches for Boy. Finding Boy, Girl peruses profile. Girl is surprised to see that Boy has similar interests. Girl is surprised because interests were never discussed in person. In person very little was discussed - just breathy questions like, for example, 'how can i make you come?'
Girl doesn't feel so guilty about one night stand with Boy when she sees Boy's Myspace profile. Girl takes deep breath, Girl sends friend request, Girl takes shower.
Girl hears nothing from Boy. Naturally, Girl checks Myspace. Girl clicks 'Pending Friend Requests.' Girl reads 'No Current Pending Friend Requests.' Girl sits and thinks. This means one thing, Girl realizes. 'Boy has rejected my friend request!' Aghast, Girl grows angry. Girl writes message:
"Dear Boy, am deeply embarrassed, did not realize that I was worthy of penetration and am, in fact, not Myspace friend material. Sorry to have been so bold, will say nothing more. I hope you die. Sincerely, Girl."
Naturally, Boy checks Myspace, sees message from Girl. Deeply uncomfortable, Boy clicks and reads. Boy laughs. 'Stupid Girl,' he smirks.
Cut to Girl: at lunch, reciting above story, leaving out no details, friends listen. "Well," one friend says, "We could give him a virus," friend suggests. "What kind of virus," Girl says in growing interest. "A Myspace Virus," friend says twirling fictional mustache. "Perfect," says Girl.
One Day Later: Boy has disappeared from top eights of all his friends. Dead. Suspects: None. Cause of Death: Mysterious Infection of Myspace Profile.
Girl changes background of her Myspace Page to a very bright shade of pink.
