riseup calmdown

i'm sitting across from myself right now. the position is very uncomfortable. it makes me realize what i look like when i sit across from people more important than myself. i start to stare deeply into my eyes. they look far-off and far back in my head. but they're staring forward, not at the wall, not at me, not at anything, and they're thinking. what are you thinking, i ask. i don't respond. i cross my arms and stare at myself like i'm guilty of something. i don't get it, i say. are you doing this to prove a point? what are you looking at? there's nothing to look at but you! stop looking like you're surprised or bored or crazy, i know you're not! i still don't respond and this makes me mad so i stand up and yell. what the fuck are you staring at?!?! fucking respond! i don't respond, so i sit. i cross my arms and look at myself like i'm waiting. i still don't speak. you're fucking boring, i say to myself. you're so fucking bored.