Dating Four People At Once

Genre: Lyric Essay, Memoir

Dating four people at once is a bad idea,' I thought this morning as my eyes dripped tears into a toilet full of stomach-acid.

this brings up two points:

point one: i'm a little sad. well, to be honest, probably more than a little, but i can't really tell because i have food poisoning and i've been feeling about 7inches away from death for almost 12 hours now and as i heave and holler into the toilet, i realize that there's not anyone rubbing my back. my roommate bought me ginger-ale and crackers, but she used my money to get it, and it sort of nullified the gesture. then i think 'well, at least some people called to say they hope i'm feeling better.'

and then i assess the list of callers:

my dad, my brother, my mom (none of those really count because they sort of have to call, and two out of the three only called because one of them made the other two)

my two best lesbian friends (but that only really counts as one because they're dating and it was only one message. and although they cutely tried to go back and forth, each speaking one word at a time, in the end it sounded something like a learning-disabled lesbian robot)

and lastly: oh wait. no one.

point two: i remember once talking to a friend about how they were dating four people and how great it was. and somehow, through the vomit, i think to myself: how? how could that be great? even when i'm not dating anyone, that's horrible. when i date one person, that's horrible. the disappointment, the putting oneself on the line, the waiting around, the making plans, the blah blah blah. and i'm not sure how, but these two things connect: food poisoning, dating. draw your own paralels.